This Thing Called Forgiveness... My letter to someone who hurt me. Almost 30 years ago I promised myself to always hate you. The pain you caused me was unforgivable. The abuse and malice you intended for me was unexplainable. Even years later, when I heard your name my skin crawled and my stomach churned. The hate had inbedded in my body, in my spirit, and in my soal. I never told anyone what you did to me but I played it over and over again in my mind. Torturing myself. As an adult I was damaged goods. Broken pieces. The hate was like chains on my body. Anyone who hurt me was quickly put on my hate list. And as my list grew...the chains were added. My body was so exhausted and literally in constant pain. You are dead and gone but in my life you were hurting me everyday. The enemy used you in such a way to distract me from my purpose. Wait....at what point do I assume responsibility? How do I heal from all the hurt? It will take time to heal but today I cut my chains. No longer will you have power over my life! No longer will I allow hate to hinder me. With every chain of hate releasing I feel power, I feel faith building, I feel free. Now I stand with all the chains on the floor...now what? I don't want to store them or save them. I just want to step over them and walk out. Never to look back and mourn but only to celebrate...because I made it! I'm a survivor! I'm not a victim...I'm a victor!!!!

When Shortcuts Get Me Lost

This morning I was focused. I had to finish shopping for Easter dinner and there is a great grocery by my sons daycare. I dropped my youngest son off at daycare and was heading to shop. I had just a few minutes to wait for the bus and it would drop me off right where I needed to be. Then a friend drove by...I smiled and waved. Then she called me and asked where was I going. I told her what store I was going to and she asked did I want a ride. I saw the bus coming and I said "sure I'll take a ride". I mean who wouldn't chose a free ride with a friend over Metro Atlanta Public Transportation? I mean it smells. I smiled and jumped in quickly. We began driving the opposite direction from where I needed to go. " Where are you going", I asked. She said "I'm dropping you off at the train station". Trust me, this was a very generous offer but I needed to go to the store in the opposite direction. I said thank you and got off at the train station. I just missed the bus going where I wanted to go. So I began to pray. "Lord, where are You directing me". Just knowing I was suppose to see someone or even better run across a great sale. And so softly He told me I was suppose to go to the local store I had intended but I took a shortcut and now I'm much further from my destination. Wow!!! How many times have I done this? I knew this lesson wasn't about my Easter dinner. It was about me knowing my destination but getting sudetracked by what seemed easy. By jumping on board every idea. These choices had dropped me off deep in the woods. For years I've been doing this and that...everything but my purpose. Trying to get ahead has caused me to be far behind. Think about it. Do you jump in relationships when each bad one pushes you further away from your mate? Do you spend all your time at a dead end job when you know you are an entreprenuer? I'm soooooo guilty! Sometimes the quick ride or the easy path doesn't take you where you need to go. Climb that mountain, get on that stinky bus, step out in faith towards your destination.

Discover The Power

I just started a new job at a local restaurant. For the first few days I watched my co-workers carefully to see what they were like. There was this one young girl who I connected with right away. I felt drawn to her for some reason. Recently we sat down after work and chatted. We have the same purpose. She is a lot like the younger me 10 years ago. In love with someone that's not healthy but she stays. She wants to help women in need. Her ideas are amazing! She doesn't realize the power in her life because she feels stuck. Bicameral into work this morning after a few days off and she met me outside crying. She had been a victim of a home invasion. At gun point she was tied up and placed in the bathtub...left to die. The intruders thought her significant other had money. There was no money...not any more. Her life was spared only by the grace of God when a neighbor saw her door open n walked in and found her. She was an emotional mess, Ofcourse. I usually wouldn't know what to say...but God does. I told her that there is a high calling on her life! There is power at her fingertips! The enemy knows this and is scared. He has to destroy her before she realizes Gods plan and power. This fact is true for so many. Even myself. When the enemy is always coming against please recognize its only because you are a threat. We make poor choices and we reap what we sow. But I'm talking about things out of your control. The things that have led you down a path of self destruction. Wonder why you were abused? Wonder why you were molested or raped? Wonder why your parents were addicts or alcoholics? Parents died and left you? Loved so hard and it wasn't returned? Suffer with mental illness? Body in severe pain? I know why...because YOU ARE CALLED TO FULFILL A GREAT PURPOSE!!! Im realizing this in my life. I have been thru most things but I'm still here! Its only because of Gods grace I'm alive. I'm still not utilizing the full power of God and I pray He forgives me. I'm pouring my heart out to you. Please recognize when you are under attack. You are not meant to fail...its the opposite. If you are a worshiper the attack is worse. Use your gifts to gain power. I pray this ministered to someone as much as it did me.

My Basket

Imagine a beautiful basket full of fresh delicious fruit. Every kind you can think of...apples, oranges, grapes, pineapple, kiwi, strawberries and bananas. The basket is set out for people to enjoy as they pass by. No one can refuse the beautiful fruit. Some stop and taste as they pass. Some are greedy and grab hand fulls of the fruit. Then there are some who keep coming back for more and more and more. The basket loves sharing her fruit and enjoys seeing the people smile as they taste her sweet fruit. Before long the fruit is gone and the basket is empty. Sometimes I feel like that basket. I give and give and give until I'm empty. I love giving and I love sharing with my family, friends, church and even strangers. But who will refill my basket? Who will give me fruit? As women we often give all we have until there is nothing left. I'm so greatful that my Heavenly Father will restore me. All I have to do is call on Him. Don't wait until you are empty...get restored today. We should teach our children and mates to replenish our baskets. Don't be afraid to say NO...I can't help you. We have to take care of ourselves too. Ladies, be encouraged and I hope this put fruit in your beautiful basket.

A Beautiful Morning

I love watching the sun rise. It can be a life changing experience. One day I realized that the sun rose after the night. Light comes after our darkest hour. In my life there has been many dark days but the hope for the light is what kept me going. I have to wake up and thank God for giving me a new beautiful morning every day. Think about it...if there was no darkness we wouldn't appreciate the sun. If there were no storms we wouldn't love a beautiful day. Its the same in our lives. Without battles there can't be victory. Without pain we wouldn't recognize joy. Without a fight we wouldn't know our strength. I dedicate this blog to encouraging others and in the process I believe God will heal my heart as well. Lets be encouraged that in the middle of our storm...it will bring life. In the midst of our darkest hour...we will bask in the sun again.