This Thing Called Forgiveness... My letter to someone who hurt me. Almost 30 years ago I promised myself to always hate you. The pain you caused me was unforgivable. The abuse and malice you intended for me was unexplainable. Even years later, when I heard your name my skin crawled and my stomach churned. The hate had inbedded in my body, in my spirit, and in my soal. I never told anyone what you did to me but I played it over and over again in my mind. Torturing myself. As an adult I was damaged goods. Broken pieces. The hate was like chains on my body. Anyone who hurt me was quickly put on my hate list. And as my list grew...the chains were added. My body was so exhausted and literally in constant pain. You are dead and gone but in my life you were hurting me everyday. The enemy used you in such a way to distract me from my purpose. Wait....at what point do I assume responsibility? How do I heal from all the hurt? It will take time to heal but today I cut my chains. No longer will you have power over my life! No longer will I allow hate to hinder me. With every chain of hate releasing I feel power, I feel faith building, I feel free. Now I stand with all the chains on the floor...now what? I don't want to store them or save them. I just want to step over them and walk out. Never to look back and mourn but only to celebrate...because I made it! I'm a survivor! I'm not a victim...I'm a victor!!!!

When Shortcuts Get Me Lost

This morning I was focused. I had to finish shopping for Easter dinner and there is a great grocery by my sons daycare. I dropped my youngest son off at daycare and was heading to shop. I had just a few minutes to wait for the bus and it would drop me off right where I needed to be. Then a friend drove by...I smiled and waved. Then she called me and asked where was I going. I told her what store I was going to and she asked did I want a ride. I saw the bus coming and I said "sure I'll take a ride". I mean who wouldn't chose a free ride with a friend over Metro Atlanta Public Transportation? I mean it smells. I smiled and jumped in quickly. We began driving the opposite direction from where I needed to go. " Where are you going", I asked. She said "I'm dropping you off at the train station". Trust me, this was a very generous offer but I needed to go to the store in the opposite direction. I said thank you and got off at the train station. I just missed the bus going where I wanted to go. So I began to pray. "Lord, where are You directing me". Just knowing I was suppose to see someone or even better run across a great sale. And so softly He told me I was suppose to go to the local store I had intended but I took a shortcut and now I'm much further from my destination. Wow!!! How many times have I done this? I knew this lesson wasn't about my Easter dinner. It was about me knowing my destination but getting sudetracked by what seemed easy. By jumping on board every idea. These choices had dropped me off deep in the woods. For years I've been doing this and that...everything but my purpose. Trying to get ahead has caused me to be far behind. Think about it. Do you jump in relationships when each bad one pushes you further away from your mate? Do you spend all your time at a dead end job when you know you are an entreprenuer? I'm soooooo guilty! Sometimes the quick ride or the easy path doesn't take you where you need to go. Climb that mountain, get on that stinky bus, step out in faith towards your destination.